Emotional Intelligence in the Veterinary World: Why It Matters More Than You Think!
Understanding and improving emotional intelligence could be the most powerful culture shift your clinic will ever make.
Pic. Welcome to the vet clinic: where comforting pets is easy, but managing human emotions? That's a full-time job!
The Missing Ingredient in Veterinary Teams
Picture this: It's 5:45 p.m. A tense client has just berated your receptionist, a veterinary nurse is holding back tears, and the vet in consultation room 3 hasn’t taken a break all day. No one says what they’re really feeling. Everyone pushes through, exhausted.
This isn’t just stress. It’s the cost of an emotionally disconnected team.
Veterinary clinics are high-pressure environments, filled with compassion, technical expertise, and complex interpersonal interactions. Yet many of these teams operate with emotional blind spots, where misunderstandings, internalised emotions, and reactive communication quietly wear away trust and collaboration.
This absence of awareness and skill in dealing with emotions - our own and those of others - is a form of invisible dysfunction.
It is time we name what often sits at the core of that dysfunction: underdeveloped emotional intelligence (EI) - a skill that can be learned and strengthened at any stage of your veterinary career.
What If the Secret to a Stronger Vet Team Isn’t What You Know?
At its core, emotional intelligence refers to the capacity to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively - both your own and others’.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman’s model of EI, widely recognised in psychology and leadership research, outlines five key components:
Self-awareness - Recognising and naming your emotional states as they happen.
Self-regulation - Managing those emotions constructively rather than letting them control your behaviour.
Motivation - Staying driven and engaged, even in the face of challenges or emotional setbacks.
Empathy - Understanding the emotional experiences of others without needing them to be the same as your own.
Social skills - Navigating relationships, communication, conflict, and collaboration in emotionally skilful ways.
In veterinary teams, these five dimensions are foundational. They influence how staff members communicate under stress, how leaders make emotionally loaded decisions, and how the team handles grief, frustration, ethical tension, and compassion fatigue.
Importantly, emotional intelligence is not a fixed trait - it's a learnable skill set. And it can dramatically change how veterinary professionals work together.
Unlike many professions, veterinary work is inherently emotional. Whether it’s delivering difficult news to pet owners, managing a distressed colleague, or making time-critical decisions with ethical weight, the ability to stay emotionally present and skilful can determine not only the success of the moment, but also the long-term health of the team.
When EI is low, common challenges become chronic dysfunction:
Conflicts are unresolved and simmer beneath the surface.
Gossip replaces honest communication.
Team members disengage, emotionally and mentally.
Reactive communication replaces thoughtful dialogue.
Mistakes are hidden instead of addressed.
Studies in both organisational psychology and medical fields reveal a clear pattern - Teams with low emotional intelligence are more likely to face:
Higher turnover and absenteeism
Lower resilience and satisfaction
Weaker communication and collaboration
Poorer patient/client satisfaction
Emotional intelligence is the soil in which psychological safety grows. Without it, feedback becomes threatening, vulnerability is avoided, and honest reflection becomes rare. Veterinary clinics that ignore this are left with high-functioning dysfunction: everything looks fine on the surface, but team wellbeing is eroding from within.
Have You Ever Wondered What Makes Emotional Intelligence Different in Veterinary settings?
The emotional demands of veterinary life go far beyond “being nice” or “handling stress.” It's about navigating a perfect storm of emotional challenges that most professions never face:
Emotional labour: Vets and Vet nurses are expected to regulate their own emotions while simultaneously managing the emotional states of pet owners - often in situations involving illness, grief, and loss. Imagine this happening multiple times a day. This dual burden is exhausting and under-acknowledged.
Moral stress: Team members regularly face decisions that challenge their values - e.g., performing euthanasia for non-medical reasons, or being unable to provide care due to financial limitations. These situations can trigger guilt, sadness, or ethical fatigue.
Chronic compassion exposure: Repeated exposure to emotionally heavy client interactions, combined with the pressure to remain composed and efficient, can lead to emotional numbing, detachment, or burnout if not processed properly.
The family-like workplace: Many clinics operate as close-knit teams where hierarchies blur and relationships are both personal and professional. In these environments, mismatched emotional responses often escalate into conflict or withdrawal.
Because of these factors, generic workplace EI models don’t fully apply. Veterinary emotional intelligence must address the unique intersections of clinical decision-making, ethical responsibility, emotional labour, and team dynamics.
Is This “Silent Killer” Sabotaging Your Vet Team? (Can You Spot the Signs?)
Let’s be real: most veterinary teams don’t crumble from one big blowup.
They erode slowly, day by day, through all the little moments when emotions get brushed aside.
You know what's tricky? These issues don't announce themselves with flashing neon signs. They show up in all those small, everyday moments that we tend to explain away or ignore. Like when...
“I’m fine, just busy!” → The colleague who’s always overwhelmed but won’t admit they need help (until they suddenly quit).
The eye-roll after rounds → That passive-aggressive vibe when someone disagrees but won’t say why.
“Clients are so entitled these days…” → The dismissive comment that masks burnout.
The same conflict, again and again → That unresolved tension between two team members that everyone tiptoes around.
What Happens When We Ignore It?
Silence sets in. People stop speaking up because “what’s the point?”
Cynicism becomes the culture. Team laughs off stress with dark humour - until the jokes aren’t funny anymore. Good people leave. And the ones who stay? They’re just… quieter.
Here’s the hard truth: When we say things like…”This is just how vet med is” or “We don’t have time for touchy-feely stuff” or “I’m not here to be their therapist”.
…what we’re really saying is: “We’ve accepted dysfunction as normal”.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. (And deep down? You already know that.)
Pic.Veterinary clinic: where we cure pets, comfort owners, and desperately pretend our feelings aren’t on duty!”
The Transformative Power of Emotional Intelligence in Veterinary Teams!
Forget what you’ve heard. Building Emotional Intelligence (EI) in your vet team isn’t about holding hands and singing “Kumbaya….” after a Friday shift. It might feel like one more thing on the to-do list, but the truth is - it’s one of the smartest, most high-impact investments you can make. You're not just managing stress - you’re rewiring how your team operates under pressure, supports each other, and sustains long-term performance.
Emotional intelligence may take time to build, but the payoff is enormous.
Stronger collaboration, better client care, and a culture that doesn't just survive. Here’s what the evidence shows:
Higher Team Engagement: (Where psychological safety meets performance).
Teams that cultivate emotional intelligence create psychological safety. When your staff feels safe to speak up, admit mistakes, and ask for help without fear of judgment:
Collaboration improves. Motivation becomes intrinsic (no more relying on pizza parties during team meetings to boost morale), and Creativity flourishes (solving cases and client issues with fresh perspectives)
Client Care That Builds Loyalty (and Revenue)
A Journal of Veterinary Medical Education study confirmed what we all know intuitively: Clients don’t just remember medical outcomes - they remember how they felt. When your team operates with high EI:
Communication becomes precise yet compassionate (reducing misunderstandings and complaints). Client compliance improves (because scared or confused clients don’t follow instructions). Trust translates into retention (happy clients refer others and stick with you through tough cases)
Conflict Resolution That Actually Works
Ever seen a team meeting derailed by defensiveness or silent resentment? EI changes the game. Studies in The Journal of Applied Psychology show teams with high EI:
Give feedback that lands (clear, kind, and solution-focused). Receive criticism without crumbling (because it’s framed as growth, not an attack). Repair ruptures quickly (no more grudges that poison teamwork for months)
Resilience That’s Built to Last
The emotional toll of working in the veterinary field is inevitable, but ongoing suffering does not have to be. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology demonstrates that teams with strong emotional regulation:
Experience less burnout (they process stress in healthy ways instead of imploding).
Recover faster after traumatic cases (because they have tools, not just tissues).
Grow from challenges (instead of becoming jaded or cynical).
Leadership That Inspires (even on the hardest days)
The most effective leaders under pressure are not necessarily the smartest or the most experienced - they are the ones with the highest emotional intelligence.
When your leaders model EI:
They think clearly in crises (no more reactive outbursts that destabilise the team).
They connect before they correct (so staff actually hear feedback instead of shutting down).
They turn chaos into clarity (creating a ripple effect of calm through the entire clinic).
Emotional Intelligence doesn’t ask your team to choose between being professional and being human - it’s the bridge that lets them be both at once. And in an industry where heart and skill must work in tandem, that’s not just nice-to-have… it’s the difference between surviving and thriving.
From Awareness to Action: Turning Knowledge into Practice
In the first part of this newsletter, we diagnosed the problem. We saw how emotional blind spots and low emotional intelligence can become the silent killer of team relationships, leading to a state of 'high-functioning dysfunction'. We now know why EI is the foundation of a healthy team.
However, awareness alone, while a crucial first step, won’t change our day-to-day reality. It's like having a map but never starting the trip. True transformation begins when we turn knowledge into habits and theory into conscious, daily actions.
Since we now understand the importance of emotional awareness, let's explore how we can cultivate it in practice. Let's look at a few ways of thinking and simple habits that can support you and your team. Let's not treat them as rigid, one-size-fits-all tools, but rather as starting points for conversation and your reflection - in a world where the heart and the scalpel are constantly seeking harmony.
Let’s Reflect: What's the Emotional Tone in Your Clinic?
Before you introduce any new tools, just pause for a moment. Think about a normal Tuesday morning in your practice.
What's the environment like? Can you feel tension in the air, or is it a focused energy?
Is the laughter you hear genuine joy, or is it the gallows humour that masks burnout and cynicism? Do people make eye contact, or do they avoid it, moving around the clinic like lonely islands?
Observation is the first step. You don't need to change or judge anything - just notice. Awareness of your team's emotional state is the starting point for any real change.
Treat it like taking a thorough “case history” before making a diagnosis.
Daily Micro-Practices for Building Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a skill, and like any skill, it's trained in small, repeatable doses. Change begins with tiny habits woven into the rhythm of your day.
The Emotional Check-in at Team Briefing: Let's start or end the day with a quick check-in. Ask everyone to rate their energy and mood on a scale of 1 to 5 (or by using colours: green, yellow, red). This isn't a performance review; it's a piece of data for the rest of the team. It offers a quick insight into who might need support today and who has the resources to give it. We all come to work with our emotional baggage, and it’s helpful for the team to be aware of the general landscape, without going into unnecessary detail. A leader might say, "Okay, I see we have a few 'twos' on the board today," or, "Looks like we've got a lot of 'reds' this morning, so let's make sure we're gentle with each other." This normalises conversations about wellbeing and builds a crucial safety net within the team.
Name It to Tame It: Psychology confirms that the simple act of naming an emotion reduces its intensity. I get it - this can feel difficult, but only the first time! When you precisely identify what you feel (e.g., "I feel frustrated and helpless," rather than just "I'm angry"), you activate your prefrontal cortex - the centre of logical thinking. This dampens the reaction of the amygdala, our internal 'threat detector'. It's like switching on the light in a dark room - the monster shrinks when you can see it clearly.
Debriefing After a Tough Case: After an emotionally intense situation (a difficult euthanasia, an aggressive patient... or client), find just two minutes to talk in a safe space. This isn't about finding someone to blame; it's about processing the emotions together. Use a simple framework: What happened? How did we each feel about it? What do we need as a team to move on from this? The answer might be a moment of silence, mutual support, or even a decision to change a procedure for the future.
How to Give Emotionally Intelligent Feedback: Instead of saying, "You've left a mess again," use the Fact - Feeling - Expectation model. "When I saw the equipment left out after the procedure (Fact), I felt frustrated because it delayed my work (Feeling). In the future, please, let’s remember to clean our station immediately after finishing (Expectation)." This model removes accusation and invites dialogue instead of forcing defence. This is a simplified version of a method I often introduce to veterinary teams, and it can single-handedly change a communication culture. In turn, it prevents dozens of small misunderstandings that can poison relationships and destroy trust for weeks on end.
Empathy as a Strategic Tool (Not an Obligation): Empathy is understanding what drives another person, not necessarily agreeing with their behaviour or taking responsibility for it. In a difficult moment with a client, asking yourself, "Okay, what's the source of this reaction? Is it fear for their animal? Is it guilt? Helplessness?" isn't meant to make you feel sorry for them. The goal is to diagnose the situation so you can choose the most effective response. This allows you to shift from instinctive defence mode into professional situation management. It gives you control, helps to de-escalate tension, and protects your energy, which is priceless.
Team Culture and Emotional Intelligence
Tools for developing EI work best in an environment that fosters psychological safety.
Our goal is to create a culture where honesty isn't a threat and vulnerability isn't a weakness.
Create a Team Agreement for Safe Communication: Work together to develop a "Team Contract." Let it be a living document you can refer to. Include principles like: "We assume positive intent in others," "We criticise processes, not people," "Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness," and "It's okay to say, 'I need a minute'."
The Team Leader and Emotional Intelligence
Leaders model the culture of the team. Your ability to regulate your own emotions and those of your team becomes the foundation of its stability and resilience. As we've already mentioned, diplomas and vast clinical knowledge don't automatically translate to mastery in managing emotions in a crisis. That's why conscious leadership requires something more:
Team Mood Mapping: As a leader, regularly "map" your team's vibe using a simple axis: Energy (low/high) and Mood (unpleasant/pleasant). A team in the "low energy, unpleasant mood" quadrant is on the fast track to burnout. A team in the "high energy, unpleasant mood" quadrant is living with stress and conflict. Your job is to recognise where you are and ask, "What can we do to move towards higher energy and a more pleasant mood?"
Calm Command vs. Reactive Leadership: In the middle of chaos, your reaction sets the tone. A reactive leader might shout, "Why hasn't anyone done this?!" - magnifying the chaos. A leader using calm command says, "Right, I see the problem. Anna, focus on the patient's vitals. Tom, get me the crash cart. We'll debrief on the cause later, when things are calm." This provides clarity, a sense of control, and stabilises the team when they need it most.
Delegating with Emotional Awareness: Emotionally Intelligent leadership means delegating tasks based not only on competence but also on an employee's emotional capacity on any given day. This is where the morning check-in (the 1-5 scale or colours) becomes a practical management tool. Seeing that someone has a "red" or "yellow" day allows a conscious leader to shield them from additional burdens. Instead of automatically assigning the toughest client conversation to a team member who has flagged that they have low energy, ask: "I know this will be a demanding conversation, and I can see you've had a tough morning. Do you feel you have the resources to handle this today, or would you prefer someone else to take the lead on this one?". A gesture like this shows you're a leader who plays on the same team, not just a manager working through a task list.
How to Practise Together and Start the EI journey?
Make short, 5-minute "EI moments" a permanent fixture in your weekly team meetings. This is an investment that costs nothing, but its consistent presence in your schedule pays itself back many times over in better communication and trust.
Once a week, have each team member consider one of the following questions, and let it become a shared team discussion, not just an individual reflection:
What gave me energy at work this week?
What one small thing helped to relieve stress?
Who in the team would I like to thank today, and for what?
An Emotional Intelligence - Focused Week
Take on this weekly challenge to turn theory into practice. Treat it as a form of mindful experiment, not another chore.
Monday: Actively ask a team member how they are, and listen to the answer without interrupting.
Tuesday: Name one difficult emotion you felt during the day, and consciously allow it to just be.
Wednesday: Thank someone for their specific help, highlighting the positive impact it had on you.
Thursday: In a stressful situation, take three (or four!) deep breaths before you react. Notice what changes.
Friday: Share one small success or positive experience from the week with the team.
Remember, building emotional intelligence is a marathon, not a sprint.
It's not another obligation, but a fundamental investment in your resilience, engagement, and the mental health of your entire team. It is precisely these skills that allow you to transform a workplace from one where you merely have to survive into one where you can draw energy and satisfaction.
This journey can be a challenge, but it's not one you have to face alone.
Wondering where to start with your team? Curious about how this EI shift could change your team? Let's have a chat.
Dr Jacek Grzelak MRCVS
SMILEY MIND ‘VET’ Coach
This newsletter is part of the Smiley Mind ‘VET’ series, dedicated to supporting emotional wellbeing and the development of interpersonal skills in veterinary practice. The content is based on established scientific publications, as well as the author's years of practical experience as a coach and leader within the veterinary field.